Statistical similarities between earthquakes and other systems that emit cracking noises have been explored in diverse contexts, ranging from materials science to financial and social systems. Such analogies give promise of a unified and universal theory for describing the complex responses of those systems. There are, however, very few attempts to simultaneously characterize the most fundamental seismic laws in such systems. Here we present a complete description of the Gutenberg-Richter law, the recurrence times, Omori’s law, the productivity law, and Bath’s law for the acoustic emissions that happen in the relaxation process of uncrumpling thin plastic sheets. Our results show that these laws also appear in this phenomenon, but (for most cases) with different parameters from those reported for earthquakes and fracture experiments. This study thus contributes to elucidate the parallel between seismic laws and cracking noises in uncrumpling processes, revealing striking qualitative similarities but also showing that these processes display unique features.